Shae Unfiltered

Is failing ever an option?

Isn’t failing how we learn? I’ve failed A LOT over the years. Friends, jobs, boys. But they’ve all taught me something. Failing doesn’t have to be a terrible negative thing. It’s how you grow and become a better version of yourself. The 42 year old Shae is in a much better place than the 22 year old Shae. And it’s probably the failures that have made the most impact.

When have you felt the most vulnerable?

When I lost the love of my life. I was 20 and had my life planned out. It all came crashing down. I had to be strong for his family while grieving the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I had to re-evaluate what I wanted and what I was going to do. It was hard but I managed to pick myself up off the floor and get on with it. His voice always ringing in my ear “stop being a goose”. 

When I separated from a partner. He was no good. While that is a story for another day, I knew it for a long time but as you do, you hold on. I was left with nothing both physically and emotionally. I’d lost faith in myself and in others. I’d lost my mojo (hard to believe this Shae never had a mojo) and it took a long time to get back. All these years later, I still have my low moments. 

What would I tell my 8 year old self?

I don’t want to sound cliché but JUST DO IT.  I still try to live by that. Just move to that place, just go to that concert, just book that footy trip. I think the cool kids call it YOLO!

Biggest sacrifices made?

I wanted to study Sport when I finished high school. I wanted a career revolving around sport. Sport was and still is my love. However, I chose Business as it was closer to my love. Do I regret it? Nope. I got a number of years with him before he passed. That may not have happened had I moved somewhere else. 

But it was a sacrifice as I didn’t follow my passion. Who knows what career and life I could have had had I taken that route. Sliding doors?

Who is the most powerful woman in your life?

Besides myself?! Within sounding up myself, I think I am a powerful woman. I saved myself. Everything I have, I have because of me. Not because of a partner or rich parents or a lucky windfall. It’s all me!

My Mum. She raised me single handedly. She taught me how to be strong, how to be independent, how to take care of yourself, how not to take shit from anyone, how to work hard, how to be a good and caring person. She also taught me how to be a crazy Saints tragic. Being a Saints fan teaches you resilience in itself. 

I’m also surrounded by powerful women. My female friends are pretty amazing.  All very different to me but I gain strength from them daily. Whether they are caring for an elderly sick parent, raising their children by themselves, working hard at their career or travelling the world. 

Is equality within reach?

I’d love to say yes but currently I feel super defeated by it. It’s a never ending “fight”. Even typing this, I am sighing thinking of what a battle it is. There are so many awesome women out there doing all sorts of awesome things. 

Maybe, one day…..

Any regrets in your journey?

Plenty. But just like my failures, I use them to learn and grow. 

What would be the point of life if you didn’t fail, regret, learn, grow, move on. 

What did the ‘Yes’ vote mean to you?

Relief and happiness. 

Relief that my LGBTQI+ friends were no longer subjected to that terrible plebiscite. What an absolute disgrace that was. Relief that the majority of Australians felt the same. I was so scared that the fear mongering would have won.

Happiness that my LGBTQI+ friends could finally share the same privileges that I could when it came to marrying the one they love.

The sky hasn’t fallen in, no one has married a bridge and your life hasn’t been affected. 

So let’s celebrate love!

What do you say to people who rubbish women’s sport?

Up yours! 

I’ve never understood it. Especially from the dude bros. It’s not about you or for you, so why so much hate on it? Some on social media make it a sport to troll women and women’s sport. Why? What does it achieve? Do you feel like a big deal on the internets? Why poo poo something that someone else enjoys?

Can you remember a time when you challenged the status quo?

Don’t we do that everyday? 

Being a woman who enjoys sport can be hard. Especially on social media. You are often not taken seriously or your views valued. While it’s nice to look at the cute boys, I can discuss and debate any football topic with the best of them.

I go to the football every single week, often travelling interstate, volunteer, go to functions, read every bit of media about my club. OF COURSE I know my stuff!

 

What does it mean to be loved?

Ahhh love….ain’t it grand!

For me, it depends on who is doing the loving. I know that I am the love of my Mum’s life. We have a pretty close bond, even if we drive each other mad. I know that she would do absolutely anything for me and has my back without judgement no matter what. I know I can call her at 2am and she will be there for me, no questions. That kinda love is all consuming but I know that the love she has for me will always ensure that I will be ok. Even at my lowest ebb, my Mum’s love made sure I wasn’t there for long. 

Love from a partner is different. Like a lot of people, I struggle with self esteem and self love. Being a plus sized woman adds to that. To have a partner love you no matter your size or what your face looks like and just because you’reace is amazing. While I don’t get my self worth from others, it certainly does go a long way to building you up and making you feel worthy and wanted. 

What do you hope for future women and girls?

They are going to smash it! 

They have the most opportunities of any generation. I can’t wait to see it. I hope in some way what we are doing now paves the way for them.

While I often feel defeated by the equality fight, I am super pumped to see what the future holds.

BE FEARLESS!